LOCKED
May not be adding everyone



22 OCT 09 - Did a small friends-cut.
Don't take it personally if I cut you.
I wanted to keep my LJ very personal. xx

What do you do when the things that were supposed to make you feel alive, end up leaving you emptier than ever? What do you do when the people that you were supposed to trust, end up lying and then turning their backs on you?

What do you do when the loving arms of the people that are closest to your heart aren't there? Who's there to hold you, rock you to sleep, and allow you to bury your tear-stained face into their clean clothes? Does anyone hear you when you scream in pain, behind the closed doors? Mummy, daddy, please help. Do they hear you scream? Do they believe you? Or does the gap just keep getting bigger?

What do you do when all you needed was to matter to someone? Did it all go to waste? The smiles and the laughter? How did you get through seventeen years alive, yet not find someone you could actually trust? How did you claim to be stronger after each trial, yet break down again once things were less than right? Were you not good enough? Did you not deserve love? Did you not deserve to be loved? Were you capable of it?

What do you do when people say they understand, but they never will? How would they ever be able to see through what you're going through? With those demons in your head, would they even come close to understanding the daily battle and eventual defeat that you experience deep inside? Can they be absolutely sure that you're just a normal teenager simply going through phases and typical angst? Can they be so certain?

I absolutely admire people who have gone through a considerable amount of betrayed trust, broken promises and disappointments, yet can still have the capacity, the will, to trust in people again.

It takes a lot to find it in yourself to trust someone even after you've ben let down time and time again.

Step one: Keep a low profile.