Jo-ann

LOCKED
May not be adding everyone



22 OCT 09 - Did a small friends-cut.
Don't take it personally if I cut you.
I wanted to keep my LJ very personal. xx

I know this world is big enough for you and I
But I'll give you more

K I need to sell stuff so go here: http://autumnmelt.livejournal.com
Support me / tell your friends if you think they'll like stuff.
Not a lot of stuff there now but I need a skinny model (aka not me) to pose in the clothes that I do not have stock photos of. So pls be patient.

Btw anyone want leopard print flats? I have an F21 one that I bought ages ago but couldn't fit into. It's super pretty, fits size 38 but I'm size 39 so boohoo, can't wear :( :( :( BRAND NEW NEVER WORN BEFORE.

COMMENT THERE PLEASE SUPPORT ME I need to clear my wardrobe.

We're in the living room, watching Meteor Garden. It's Christmas, and all I can think about is Christmas eve 2 years ago. How do I forget? How do I leave this all behind? It's been so long, too long, but a love lost still makes my heart ache a little.

Here I am, oh God
I bring this sacrifice, my open heart
I offer up my life
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let Your love fall down on me
I know Your love dispels all my fears

Through the storm I will hold on, Lord
And by faith I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my Calvary one day
And I will be complete in You

God, what are Your plans for me?
My heart desires so much.

What do you do when the things that were supposed to make you feel alive, end up leaving you emptier than ever? What do you do when the people that you were supposed to trust, end up lying and then turning their backs on you?

What do you do when the loving arms of the people that are closest to your heart aren't there? Who's there to hold you, rock you to sleep, and allow you to bury your tear-stained face into their clean clothes? Does anyone hear you when you scream in pain, behind the closed doors? Mummy, daddy, please help. Do they hear you scream? Do they believe you? Or does the gap just keep getting bigger?

What do you do when all you needed was to matter to someone? Did it all go to waste? The smiles and the laughter? How did you get through seventeen years alive, yet not find someone you could actually trust? How did you claim to be stronger after each trial, yet break down again once things were less than right? Were you not good enough? Did you not deserve love? Did you not deserve to be loved? Were you capable of it?

What do you do when people say they understand, but they never will? How would they ever be able to see through what you're going through? With those demons in your head, would they even come close to understanding the daily battle and eventual defeat that you experience deep inside? Can they be absolutely sure that you're just a normal teenager simply going through phases and typical angst? Can they be so certain?

I absolutely admire people who have gone through a considerable amount of betrayed trust, broken promises and disappointments, yet can still have the capacity, the will, to trust in people again.

It takes a lot to find it in yourself to trust someone even after you've ben let down time and time again.

Step one: Keep a low profile.